... and I have touched the sky."
I did not slide easily into the Smearland perspective.
I went through periods of angst, particularly when I realized just exactly how mutable some things were and how easy it was to slip into another universe. The other day I was going through some old notebooks and I came across some thoughts I had jotted down during what was probably the most intense of these periods. I hesitate to post any of this material in its raw form because it is, well, raw.
When I began to think seriously about these things, I had no framework upon which to lay my observations and experiences. I had nothing that told me what any of it was or what it meant. It's very possible that, save for a few things, I might have become seriously unhinged by some of the things I experienced.
"... it is feasible that a mutant human might come along every now and then who was exceptionally sensitive to the entangled universe. The question is whether this mutation would be sufficiently compatible with normal psychological functioning for it to survive..." - Entangled Minds, Dean Radin, (2006), p.273.
(I'm letting the 'mutant' crack slide... for now... because Radin is right to question how something like this might or might not be compatible with normal psychological functioning.)
I was aided most of all (believe it or not) by a healthy skepticism. I generally had to experience something quite a few times before I would acknowledge that something real was going on. Furthermore, I decided to seek validation in science. I suppose I could have adapted more quickly to what I was experiencing if I had studied magick, or metaphysics, or another framework of knowledge that more readily acknowledged things like this. But these systems of knowledge were not within my range of experience, and besides, science had the promise of being able to unlock any secret if applied rigorously enough. ;)
Still, I had nothing to tell me what any of it meant. In retrospect, this was probably a good thing, as it allowed me to collect observations free of any paradigm-driven assumptions. But it did make for some uncomfortable moments of questioning. :) I still can't claim to understand what it means. But the faith of a scientist says that there will be more data, and that that data will clarify what we don't yet understand.
